Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Dear Mr. Dr. Sir Patrick Alan Hyatt (whichever title is most fitting)
Now I know after going to an I.V. league school, you were flooded with job offerings. It was tough decision, but I know made the right one. Now, it is understandable that you are making so much money you do not know what to do with it. Here are some suggestions: 1) Charity, always think of others in need. 2) A few very nice Quads. 3) (future equivalence of)Lamborghini Gallardo, Audi R8, Arial Adam (supercharged of course), or the Mercedes Benz SLK. 4) Private Island with non-parishable food, water purifying plant, nuclear safe house, and a lot of guns and ammo (for the zombie apocalypse, duh). Other than that I am sure you know what to buy. All these materials are great, but make sure you stay in perspective; money cannot buy everything. By now I am sure you have found the right person to love, cherish, and start a family with. If not, "Suit up!" (Barney Stinson). A wise man once said, "Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true,"(Lean Suenes), go make your dreams true!
Sincerely,
Patrick Hyatt
You know the only way to be knighted (Sir status) is to be in the presence of a royal family member (including a whole slew of other things you must do, probably including being British). Good luck!
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